zzzz….

I spent so many hours today on continuing the comic and redoing /revising facial expressions, lol.

Gods, just fucking kill me, haha. All this from my friggin passion for a niche series and ship.

I’ll make a post here dedicated to the fancomic’s process pics and its BTS stuff after I’m through with it because for some reason, I can’t seem to post too many progress pics before it’s done.

It’s my fixation with avoiding spoilers, gah. I already posted a few WIP shots and I don’t want to post more because that’ll be too much (at least for me.)

Then again, I mean, it’s not like many of my followers are familiar with blood+ or are in its fandom so maybe it’s fine to post more?

hmmm….

I’ll have to alternate though. Like one day for illustrations or scribblings /doodles and the other for continuing with comics because I might end up getting super burnt out from this and I don’t wanna suffer from art fatigue again. So tomorrow, I’ll work on other stuff and then the day after, I’ll work on the comic again.

bleh

Posting some casual drawings of blood plus as I continue to work on comics and other stuff I need to finish. ^^;;

Ahhh…comics….They’re such a pain in the arse to do that I often find myself wondering why I even do them in the first place esp with fan comics, lol. But as they say, making art of any theme or form is like being in a masochistic relationship. You hate it but you also like it at the same time and keep coming back to it no matter how much of a pain they are.

I get very frustrated with how much time and effort comics take but I also love the self satisfaction it gives me after I finish them.

…just as long as I don’t fixate on the mistakes in anatomy, etc, lol.

life updates, Blood+ rants and comic WIPs

last week was marked with PMS spots , mood swings and yet a high motivation to make storyboards for future comics and illustration.

Something is not adding up, lol.

Usually I spend my PMS week hating myself, everyone and everything on earth due to heavy mood swings but last week was different. Perhaps it’s me getting my mojo back after all these months of very irregular activity and deep depression. That would be a good sign that I’m recovering?

But ofc in the back of my mind, I’m still afraid of this suden enthusiasm because everytime I experience that, something very bad happens next and I know it’s super illogical to think like that, the whole “you know the world doesn’t revolve around you getting happy or not” and I know that but even so, last year was traumatising especially since it was exactly September of last year where I was getting into Blood + again….

and the rest was history.

ANYWAY, that stuff aside, I am currently into Blood + again. I’m in the midst of finishing a semi-short(?) fancomic of a postcanon AU that me and Rin created because we hate how canon treated our “blorbos” (The Schiff), haha. They are like the most disadvantaged characters in the series and yet have the most wholesome relationship towards each other. They’re just….so good. All they just wanted was to live and be happy. >v<

We were also fangirling over…a….uh… “crack” ship with Hagi, heh.

Continue reading

working

Sorry for my idleness for the past week, ORZ. I was busy with doing storyboards and thumbnails for future fancomics, ehehe.

I’ve also been fangirling with Rin about a new favourite ship from Blood+ that isn’t canon (but blood+ canon “romance” sucks especially with their comphet haha).haji and saya had absolutely no chemistry at all. Seriously, i couldn’t get over the ending since 2006.

Here’s a WIP of the current fancomic I have of the ship:

It’s going to take a little while to finish it unfortunately, but not super long, I hope. I still have other comics and illustrations to finish.

I always wonder if I have some ADD/ADHD that is undiagnosed. My sister was diagnosed with it and so far I haven’t checked with my Psychiatrist about it. I thought that ADHD was just the stereotypical super hyper person with short attention spans disorder but apparently, it’s a much complex one. hyperfixation /focus is one of the symptoms and I find that I display it heavily when it comes to certain hobbies especially with art.

Like, when I start making comics, I frequently go all out on it which means I can’t do any other artwork unless I finish the entire chapter or one shot. I can’t seem to alternate between making comics and then illustration while still working on the comics. I HAVE to finish the comic before doing anything else.

It’s an all or nothing mentality. ://

Also, I doodled this yesterday.

lulu has no body..oops

ah well.

It’s getting late I should sleep.

Goodnight.

Refresh

Today I was rewatching two episodes of Blood+ with Rin since yesterday mostly to rehabilitate myself from my personal trauma that comes attached with this series.

The story is that I was getting into Blood + for the second time (since 2006?) last year and I was making Blood+ fancomics when I was notified of the news that my kin was in a bad condition and was getting rushed to the ICU (due to severe covid). Obviously, I had to take some time away from my hobbies because of the anxiety and depression from that and as people who’ve read my past blog posts know, my relative didn’t recover and died January of this year so it was a period of extreme grief for me and my family. I couldn’t bring myself to finish anything associated with the bad events that happened.

So yeah, I was making Blood+ comics when that happened and it’s been terribly difficult to dissociate the series from the tragic events late last year. For the past few months, everytime I thought of Blood+ and look at my thumbnail notebook where I filled it with so many comic ideas and headcanons about the series, I couldn’t help but get flashbacks of my relative being rushed to the ICU, in toxic state, etc. which always leads me to wallow in sorrow.

But I am trying to get over this…trauma. I am rewatching the entire series bit by bit and in a way, rehabilitate myself with what I associate with it. I’m no longer getting strong palpitations though I am still getting a few flashbacks and feeling sad remembering it but it’s not as bad as before. And I know the series doesn’t deserve my fears and anxiety. It’s a good series save for the comphet, haha.

And by comphet, I mean they try so goddamn hard to show that Saya’s in love with Haji and how they’re the main couple meanwhile the first episode shows this.

Kaori is her one true love and no one can deny it.

Saya has always come across as gay to me even when I was a conservative kid tbh. The series likes to show that Haji is her love interest even though Saya has no chemistry with him (and the other guys) AT ALL. The guy barely has any personality. He’s just..a hot vampire, haha. That’s pretty much it.

But Saya has always had so much chemistry with the women characters especially with Kaori. Episode 1 and there’s already so many slightly intimate moments between them, haha. As Rin said, she is a walking closet destroyer. :’D

Also..Unpopular opinion Blood C sucks so much arse compared to Blood +. And I think the reason why the former gets a reprint is because it’s friggin’ CLAMP who made it, pfft. I am so salty and pissed that Blood+ which is 1000x better doesn’t get this treatment.