Worn out

‘Went to the mall to buy some groceries for tomorrow and boyyy, how I miss shopping and walking around there. _| ̄|○

I remember before the pandemic and lockdowns happened, I used to get envious of people I knew on IG and even irl for being able to travel the entire world, own a yacht, all those opulent crap etc. And now, all I just want is for things to go back to the way it is, well with the added precaution of wearing masks worldwide if someone has a cold (it’s not authoritarianism. it’s basic human decency and thoughtfulness to wear a mask to avoid infecting others ).

I miss going to cafés, art and book shops, hear people chattering away. Even though I’m introverted, I do miss those loud obnoxious people in restaurants laughing away their problems and of having to fall in line with a big crowd to order a smoothie or snack. I miss my grandma and relatives in the countryside despite my usual dislike towards family reunions (comparison and all that shit haha) . I miss my friends and teachers. I just want this fucking pandemic to be over.

It’s true what they say, you never know how important something is until it’s gone. This pandemic made me realise that I took all the simple things in my life for granted. Sighhh.

But what can I do? I can’t control when the pandemic starts or stops.

It’s just sad because my parents are celebrating their 60th birthday this month and we’ll have to celebrate those at home instead of throwing a big party like back in their 50th birthday. it’s utterly depressing but if the pandemic is controlled by next year; maybe we can get a belated birthday party because let’s be honest, the world went on a standstill when the quarantine and lockdowns started. I still can’t believe it’s going to be a year since the lockdown. It still feels like it’s 2020 eugh.

Speaking of which, It’s also hard to cope when your parents are growing old, ORZ.

When I was in elementary, I used to be ashamed of my parents marrying and having me and my siblings at a late age, lol. (My dad had to finish med school and earn enough as a doctor and my mum was very career focused) All my classmates had young parents and I had old ones. It was trivial but it was also difficult for me because of the mortality thing associated with older parents.

It made me wonder though. Back in their generation, people used to marry in their twenties and that was considered the average age of marriage and having families. Now, it seems a lot of millennials are marrying in their thirties or even not marrying at all which is comforting and at the same time quite depressing of our economic situation, gah.

Ah well. I got carried away.

I didn’t get to draw today because of shopping. It’s been so many months since I visited that mall that I forgot the directions to some shops. All that walking around was so tiring, ORZ.

Ahh but I bought a new chair for my desk, finally. It’s an office chair I bought on a 20% discount and it’s so comfortable and I can adjust the height finally. I’ve been using the same rugged chair for a decade and just putting throw pillows on it to avoid back pain but now I have a new one and no throw pillows required. 😀

2 thoughts on “Worn out

  1. Why can I relate so much? Especially to the 1st paragraph. I’m more of an extroverted person but I like staying home if that makes sense? But I also love going out; I understand how you feel.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Thanks~

      Hmm well i think it’s best not to be at the extreme side of either two. Like being too introverted that you just stay at home all the time or being too extroverted that you keep going out and judge others for not being extroverted. I think a decent amount of being the opposite helps. 🙂

      Liked by 2 people

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