Memento Mori

It was fun exchanging art and comic ideas with Rin today and I told her I wanted to draw them but I get anxious if people will hate it and deem it as “bad.”

The typical social media anxiety stuff, lol.

And I remember a quote in Austin Kleon’s book, “Keep Going.” (I highly recommend reading all three books of the series including Steal Like an Artist and Show your Work if you haven’t read them yet. ^^)

I’m reminded of how short life is. Like today, I received the news that a long time neighbour of mine was diagnosed with cancer after just dealing with COVID. This news brought shivers down my spine because…cancer. It prompted me to think of my own mortality.

(CW: death, depression, suicide)

Things are unexpected. I think what the past decade taught me was how short and unpredictable life is. A lot of my relatives and even classmate died in a series which traumatised me and in a way, made me very paranoid about not just my health but everyone’s health. I find it absolutely ironic how I’m suicidal often yet I’m also a hypochondriac at the same time. Although, I think it has to do with having control. I wanna have control in the way I die and not through some deadly illness that will do it for me instead of myself.

Yoinks/ that got a bit dark, lol.

Sorry. (∩︵∩)

But yeah, the title of this post is “Memento Mori,” a Latin phrase that means, “Remember you must die.”

Death is inevitable and someday, we all will die. It’s depressing to hear, I know. It’s so depressing I worry about my loved ones’ mortality to the point it is the main negative thought in my head every night that keeps me awake.

But it is the truth. Everyone is gonna die at some point. And even though it’s very upsetting to think about, it’s also motivating.

I came across a blog post that talks about this in detail. It’s a stoic’s outlook on death. I’m not a full stoic but the philosophy has a ton of good and practical advice especially on our outlook on life and death. The gist of the blog post essentially is to not dwell on our mortality but treating our remaining time as a gift and to not waste it on silly and shallow things. Death is a reminder to make life worth living.

And to how it relates to drawing….

Why do I worry so much about what other people think of me again?

Life is short and art is long, as Austin Kleon mentioned.

So why should I worry about what others’ think of my stuff? Why am I wasting my time trying to walk on eggshells, afraid of looking “bad” or “weird”?

I don’t want to die without drawing all the things I want to draw.

I wanna make all the stuff I want to draw no matter how “bad” and “imperfect” they are. That’s much better than lying on my deathbed and leaving all those scripts and art ideas in some computer document that may never see the light of day.

As long as it isn’t bigoted or evil, I think it’s fine to draw and post them, right?

welp. there are much weirder stuff posted online and the artists seem to be doing okay so…..(・_・ヾ

I’m…

I’m going to draw ALL the things! ୧༼✿ ͡◕ д ◕͡ ༽୨

I’ve had enough of myself with overworrying and thinking about what others think all the time. Life is too short to waste on that.

Be kind and just keep drawing..yes..

TLDR: Life is short, I’m gonna draw and post lots of stuff before it ends no matter how imperfect and weird it is.

In other news, I have been watching J.G. Quintel’s series, “Close Enough” on Netflix. Season 2 of the series has more pop culture references compared to Season 1 which is a slight turn off for me because I suck at most american pop culture stuff so I’m not familiar with it.they ref’d green day tho so it’s kewl

but it is very hilarious and awesome nonetheless. I enjoyed watching it so much I can’t wait for season 3! (*≧▽≦)

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