I know this will be quite sudden but I’ll be away for a few weeks. (not sure how long tbh) ORZ
A close relative of mine’s terribly unwell, and in critical condition (ICU). I can’t focus on so many things especially on art with this crisis, so I’ll be away for a few weeks. I’ll continue with the art for those who’ve commissioned me, but other than that, I won’t be posting much.
I really wish I didn’t have to post this but I have to prioritise real life problems for the meantime. It’s been a very stressful weekend for me, to the point I made my blogs private for a little while today because I wanted to completely withdraw myself online but I thought it was a very hasty and impulsive act to do that without any explanation so I eventually publicised my blogs a few hours ago.
I apologise sincerely. Being so overwhelmed with stress and anxiety makes me act very irrational.
I wonder if I should just nuke my old wordpress blog entirely? (the milliekou.wordpress.com). Thinking about the blog makes me remember all the cringeworthy stuff I wrote and drew since 2015 and it sometimes haunts me, lol.
NSFW Deathshipping (AUU: Fem!Ryou x Mariku/Yami Marik) Commission for lekoweko@twitter ^__^
This one’s a preview since I can’t post r18 stuff in this blog but I attached a link below it where you can find the full version of the image plus its timelapse in my other R18 blog (which I made public today. Nothing special really lol)
I’ve been busy colouring the nsfw commission today so…no illustration or doodle atm.
But despite me having less output than the usual, I’m very happy that I managed to open commissions this year, for the first time. Aside from the fact that those commissions helped me financially, it also made me improve drastically in drawing and painting from what I observed. I learned so many things like rendering, doing backgrounds, detailed works, etc.
Stuff like those make me regret that I didn’t open commissions years ago. I often wonder if it was too late for me since I have this mean voice nagging in my head, “Oh, X and Y are in middle school and have opened commissions, why did it take you so very long to open, Millie? You should have done those when you were very young, now it’s too late for you.”
The whole “You’re too old for this. People wayy younger than you are doing 1000x better than you in everything so there’s no point in trying” reason plagues me a lot, lol.
Sigh. Anxiety, specifically Generalised and Social Anxiety disorder are very self-sabotaging. Aside from the fact that I had a very low self-esteem with my skills, a debilitating fear of letting down my followers with my art, I was extremely afraid of failing, too. Yeah, I opened commissions but what if nobody ever commissioned me? That would mean I embarrassed myself online with even posting it in the first place.
I thought of drawing some naruto since I’ve been craving for Ramen.
Damn..When was the last time I drew any naruto fanart? five, six years ago?;/
Maaaaan, I still can’t believe it’s been seven years since it ended. I remember when Naruto was like a meme of manga series that will never end and…it ended 7 years ago.
Honestly, despite its flaws and terrible writing of female characters, I will always love and treasure the series since it helped me so much when I was struggling throughout school and life in general.
I remember every friday (or thursday? lol I cant remember which day exactly) after school, I’d go surf the net and check on the latest chapter of Naruto and talk about it with my friends the next day and we’d fangirl over the akatsuki and or rant about the latest character death, lol.
I haven’t caught up with Boruto and I don’t plan to, haha. Sorry. I’d rather stick with the original, much like other series I love.
I know Blood+ is more or less an obscure fandom but I…really love it and I want to make more content of it especially since I’m a diehard Kai x Irene shipper (and KarmanxMoses) lol.
They have a sequel, Blood # (a light novel) but I’ll be completely disregarding it and some elements in the canon. It’s a boring rehash imho. Personally, I believe if you’re making a sequel, it should expand the story and add more to the characters, It should build more to the story and not rehash the same stuff.
Thanks to Rin for all the help and support ❤ (and for bringing back my love for this 15 year old series. It’s your friggin’ fault. )