COPE.

Hello.

I still am in shock with Takahashi’s sudden passing so I’ve just been coping with it through ….listening to sappy sentimental music and watching….uh… soap operas/telenovelas. oi, we all have our different ways of coping with a death of a muse.

I know soap operas (most if not all) are notorious for their over the top acting, multiple twists and turns and characters with very confusing family trees but gods, they’re so entertaining to watch that I end up getting fond of them, lol. I remember being an edgy preteen-teen twat and wanted to watch those soap operas just to criticise how bad they were and how they’re just shallow, unrealistic, cliche-filled series that don’t require deep thinking.

Aaaaand multiple soap opera movies and series later, I ended up getting so fond of them, lol. No matter how petty the love hexagon is and how X is the long lost sister of Y and mother to Z, I find myself listening to their dramatic arguments while working on stuff. And it’s been helping a bit. (weird but true, the characters have super crazy and explosive lives).

Though it has made me so paranoid with sudden heart attacks . I swear whenever an older guy or woman gets angry or argues in those series , they clutch their chest, fall over and almost always die as a plot device, haha.

2022 has been a very challenging year for me so far. I lost two loved ones earlier this year and now, a muse. I just had a depressive relapse last week and early this week because it marked half a year since my dog died, and more than half a year since my relative died. I was getting slightly better yesterday and then I learn about the news on takahashiwhy oh why did he snorkel alone ? ORZ.. and i really hope it was swift and he didn’t suffer for long.

Ugh.

Consecutive deaths really take a toll on your mental and physical health. I don’t even wanna ask the question, “Could it get any worse?” because I’m afraid of jinxing things more than how they are now with the world being in turmoil with high inflation, corrupt leaders, fascism, wars…

Bleh.

Sometimes I wish I can sleep and not wake up.

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