dog and rambling

‘thought I could use my pet corgi as a reference, lol.

Anyway, I’m feeling much better than before. I’ve finally accepted the fact that my art won’t be as good as I want it to be. It doesn’t mean I will remain static and not improve but rather, accepting the reality that my art will never be perfect. And that’s okay.

I mean, why avoid drawing all because of fearing it won’t be as good as those other great artists? In the end, my perfectionism and anxiety hindered me instead of helping me improve. I was overthinking the composition, the values, colours and fixated on how everything should look ~aesthetically pleasing~ and abstract that I ended up losing interest in making art or art as a whole.

Something that I remind myself to think of are my followers who stuck with me for many years (since 2015) like Rin who became my close friend, Tai who still likes my ramblings here, Rochelle E. who still contributes to my kofi, and the rest of the cool peeps.

Rin told me that there are people like her who still liked my works even when I was a total amateur with drawing. (not knowing much of the fundamentals) and that made me teary and motivated.

Yeah, I’m a crybaby lol.

It made me realise I should let go of being perfect and that it’s okay to make mistakes. that it’s okay if my art isn’t aesthetically pleasing or abstract. What did perfectionism even do aside from making me prorastinate and hate my art? I should be open to making mistakes, to making “ugly” art. So what if it’s not aesthetics? not pretty? not perfect? not abstract?

It’s okay not to be perfect. Just keep making “shitty” art.

And that’s what I’m reminding myself now. Let myself loose with drawing. To let go of perfection. And Accepting that my art won’t be as perfect as I like it to be and yet still doing the hobby because I enjoy it and because there are messages I want to send through art.


Also it’s super late at night and I’ve been so groggy while typing this but it feels good and cathartic writing a self reflection here.



I’ve been posting dreary thoughts here for the past weeks…Sorry. ORZ

But I’m doing okay now. I’ve confided in some people, did some self reflection and had some realisations…

One thing that I should REALLY have stop doing is to…stop thinking too much, lol. I worry about so many things that I end up not doing anything.

Ahh, Anxiety (GAD) fucks with your brain big time . I often wonder how many times I’ve self-sabotaged myself due to my anxiety disorder lol. (probably like a hundred times already)

Anyway, yeah, I’ll be going to therapy for that soon. I desperately need to curb it as it’s been getting so bad and in the way of my art and irl. I’ve also been busy sorting out stupid documents a few days ago and that has been contributing to my lack of energy and more anxious and depressive thoughts.


The hardest part is getting the ball rolling.


Trying to familiarise myself with more of CSP’s tools.

And below is a wip of a bewd fusion. ^_^

I’m not skilled with drawing monsters or dragons so this proved quite difficult for me to make. ‘Quite challenging but it’s good to go out of my comfort zone.

That’s pretty much what I want to say for today. Sorry if it doesn’t make any sense (like the usual). My brain is packing it in since it’s so late at night here but I want to be able to update my blog like before.

I know I’ve been ….so irregular for the past months but I’m doing my best to draw more despite my mental health struggles this year. ^^

Soufflé Pancakes

Painting pastries or just food is relaxing. ^^

I recently ate at a Japanese cafe and tried their souffle pancake. It was SUPER delicious I just had to draw them, lol.

Above looks more like a transition from a simple colouring to a super detailed one. It was nice to experiment and play with colours as I went along with the other pancake recipes. 😀