‘Been feeling very off for today.

I’ve been meaning to draw a lot more for today but my body doesn’t want to. ORZ

Maybe it because I only had 3-4 hours of sleep today, lol.

And with the recent personal tragedy too. I’m still trying to process what happened as it came out of nowhere. It hurts so much thinking about it. It leaves a very heavy and painful feeling on my chest but I can’t…cry even if I force myself to.

Perhaps my tears ran out from the other events that happened earlier this year? Or maybe I was filled with so much stress for the past few days up until her death that now I’m so worn out?

bleh.

Sometimes you do everything right and it still goes wrong. And that fucking sucks. /sigh/

Numbness, grief and lack of sleep. What a perfect combo. ‘Totally messes up my mental and physical health, lol.

I feel lethargic but I can’t sleep. Just tired while awake which is worse. Kinda’ like a zombie.

Emo news aside,

Lately, I’ve been watching short videos of older shows I grew up with and I plan on making fanart of them some time soon. I actually introduced Rin to Durarara! [DRRR!] today by showing her short videos of Shizuo and she immediately took a liking to him. (Ain’t he a charmer?)

We’re still watching Noein and it seems like a good series so far. It sucks that it’s an underrated anime like Blood+ but that’s fine.

Come to think of it, half of all the anime series I grew up with weren’t mainstream. The mainstream ones I can think of…hmmm..

There was YGO, Naruto, Bleach, RK and other Shounen stuff but I mean, Shonen Jump stuff are almost always mainstream anyway, haha. There’s Inu Yasha by Rumiko Takahashi but ….uh…..the sequel ruined it for me and I don’t even want to talk about it or even look at it. /*shivers*/

There’s CLAMP with CCS and Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicles. (I love KuroFai so much haha). There’s Pokemon which is obviously super mainstream…There’s the Fate Series (although it was only niche here in Asia when I got into it. Now it’s super big worldwide so I consider it mainstream too.)

WELP. There’s one word to sum up the major anime influences in my childhood.

ANIMAX.

Seriously, that tv channel raised me, haha. That and their bad dubs. Even if their dubs are mostly terrible (their FT one is good though), at least they stuck to canon. I was surprised when I read about the American English dubbed version of CCS. Apparently, they changed a lot of stuff there. For example with their anglo names and the relationships of the characters to each other (/cough/Yukito and Touya /cough/). The agency was basically being homophobic f*cks while the animax dub stayed true to the canon one. Animax didn’t give a rat’s ass about the homosexuality there which was good as I was exposed to LGBT anime couples at such a young age. There was Get Backers. aka anime that has lots of gay stuff in there, haha. (Kazuki, my baby~) There was also Maria Sama ga Miteru, total lesbian fest. I’m not sure with Kyo Kara Maou. As far as I know, the MC got engaged to a guy accidentally and this blonde guy seemed really gay for the MC. I can’t remember much but I’m sure that was also a bit of a gay anime.

zoinks, I’ve been going off on some nostalgia trips here lately, huh?

It’s probably just me finding some solace through reminiscing the past because I’m currently running away from my problems in life, hahaha.

ahhhhhhhhh….

I suck.

but it feels good sharing them here rather than keeping them all in my head.