december burnout

I’m so tired, ORZ

pardon if I don’t make as much sense here as I’m currently sneezing for the nth time and my brain is so fried.

I want to draw but I can’t seem to do it atm probably because as the title says, I’m burnt out from the past two to three weeks of finishing commissions and other tedious yet hectic tasks. (Christmas stress)

I’ve also been getting a quite severe case of rhinitis since yesterday so it’s very difficult for me to focus and have the energy to do as much as I want to. The nonstop sneezing has made me very mentally fatigued and drowsy. Brain fog, I think? Just feeling hazy all throughout the day, being a total zombie.

ehh…

I’ll rest for this weekend. It’s the holidays so….gotta relax and have fun during those days. Perhaps I can regain more motivation and recharge my batteries through that.

I may draw some Christmas-inspired work after, who knows? (Super rare for me to draw art dedicated to Holiday/Special Occassions because I often forget to make one, lol.)

My family didn’t get to celebrate Christmas and New year last year ‘cuz..of what happened so I’m hoping that it’s a less sombre occassion now. It’s been a very rough year for us since the start of 2022 so I want to be able to be there for my family this Holiday season.

2023…I hope it’s a good year but I’m lowering my expectations for it and for the next millennia, haha…

As the old folks would say, que sera sera or Whatever will happen, will happen.

I’ll just do my best to get closer to my goals and make the stuff I want.

This year was quite a setback ngl, I was struggling with the heavy depression and anxiety that was mostly caused by my existenstial crisis. A crisis that came about after the tragedy so it was tough to be motivated to draw especially when you’re anxious about your reason for existing.

If we all die tomorrow, why should I even draw? what would I be known for? What would have been my life’s purpose? Have I fulfilled my life’s purpose? Am I wasting my life by drawing animu stuff and fangirling over little things and complaining about dumb shit in this blog? What should I do? yadda yadda…

All those emo thoughts ruminating in my head.

I only managed to pick myself up slightly by the end of August.

Welp.

better late than never, I guess.

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