hey

Belated Merry Christmas!…^__^

….

And I forgot to draw a Christmas themed artwork again. ORZ

To be fair it’s difficult to feel that Christmas spirit when inflation is biting my arse, lol. I know I’m probably being a killjoy but I can’t be merry when all the prices of food and such are rising and becoming more unaffordable. :/

I do hope people still enjoyed it despite the economic downturn, like being able to be with friends and family and to rest well. I certainly did.

I was quite burnt out from doing commissions continuously this month so I needed some rest to regain my energy and ignite my motivation and passion to draw. Although, I find it difficult to draw something this month.

It’s… a complex of mine, orz.

So since December is the last month of the year, I have this “perfectionist” mindset wherein I become desperate to prove to myself and to others that I improved. So I feel like my drawings for this month should be “perfect” because if it’s not, it would shatter my ego and I would end up in despair by questioning myself.

Did I even improve this year if my December art is not good enough?

Ahhh…

I put so much pressure on myself. I really have to let that bad habit go by next year.

At least I have an art summary to post by tomorrow or the day after tomorrow. I did my first art summary last year and I liked it. It’s a good way to evaluate my art in terms of what went wrong, what went right etc. It’s good to have a post discussing about what I learned and what mistakes I observed and got rid of. It’s basically an end of year reflection but for art, haha.

It’s a shame it only took me last year to make one. I’ve just never thought of myself as a “serious artist” after all these years. I barely……never(?) partiicpate in art memes/trends because I ‘ve always been struggling with a bad case of impostor syndrome and anxiety, gah.

And it’s getting late. I’ll blog and draw more tomorrow.

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