So in the midst of writing this blog post, the speakers outside were playing corporate Christmas songs which are annoying af. And John Lennon’s Happy Xmas (War is Over) started to play. Gods, I know that it’s an antiwar song but the friggin’ guilt trip of the first two lines lol.
“So this is Christmas. What have you done?”
Wallowed in my goddamn misery.
As if I needed to feel more guilt about not having much progress this year. >__>
January -> April : Extremely depressed, crying spells almost everyday, Commissions
May -> June: “Normally” depressed, dabbled into drawing random OCs, painting in my personal journal, Commissions
July -> August Playing The Sims 2 to feel better and enjoyed the lore of the series, drawing OCs, Commissions
September : Got into Blood+ again and got so invested in the Schiff particularly with Gie. Also started shipping him and Haji seriously that I started to make a doujin. Commissions
October: Finished the doujin, the first ever since 2020! Commissions
November: Drew more often, rambled …ranted constantly, grieved, got introduced to Noein, lusted after Karasu, shipped Tobi and Atori, Commissions
December: Commissions, got burnt out.
2022 was a super rough year for me, lol. ‘Greeted me with a friggin’ funeral.
I don’t want to keep repeating stuff but I think anyone who has read my blog knows that I wasn’t myself for the first few months because I was grieving. And that grief and depression was very evident from my low productivity in drawing.
I focused more on journaling on my diary as some sort of therapeutic outlet and I also did a few commissions here and there. Although I didn’t “officially” open commissions. I did them whenever someone emailed me on my commissions email or paid for a slot in kofi.
So clearly, this year was mostly commission art. It’s unfortunate that I couldn’t do as many personal works as I wanted to because I was feeling too miserable, lol. I barely had any passion and interest left to make passion projects. At least with commissions, there’s a financial incentive that motivated me to draw.
My art style early this year leaned on the realistic rendering style. I personally found it a bit bland and I wanted to let loose and do rougher blocking and strokes with later works.’ Trying to make them look more doodle-ish and casual like before.
By September, I was slowly recovering from the heavy depression and weariness that came with it.
I found myself getting invested in Blood+ again and shipping a new couple that I didn’t expect to like, lol. That newfound passion helped me get back on track slowly but surely as I managed to make and finish a Blood+ Doujin last October! The last time I finished one was in 2020 so this was a big sign that I was recovering.
Eventually, I started to use this blog for its original purpose. I posted more rants and rambles frequently and I got to doodle a whole lot more.
I was also introduced to a heavily underrated but amazing sci-fi anime series called Noein by Rin and got attached to certain characters too. (Karasu <333)
There were some art mistakes I figured out in late 2022 that I have to get rid of:
- Proportions have always been a huge weakness for me and I noticed that I overemphasise the anatomy and details instead of the shapes first and foremost which made the bodies look wayy bigger than what I wanted.
- Head proportions as well. Sometimes the eyes are too close to each other and the faces are too small that they end up looking like they had bottle proportions, haha.
- Static Poses
- I noticed this when I was in a midst of a commission. I had difficulty with making the drawing look eye popping and I asked Rin for her critique and she mentioned that the initial pose was too static. It didn’t have this dynamic effect so I need to improve on adding more curves and S’s to make them look very lively
- aka Study contrapposto.
- Overlooking Negative Space
- Yep. I thought I could dismiss it but I learned that it’s important for composition.
- Blending too much
- Well, they end up looking too airbrushed and it’s not a style that I’m aiming for. Rough strokes are nice and I don’t have to blend or blur all of them.
- Getting Things too Detailed and Rendering
- Not really a mistake, something I need to lessen. Although that style is only reserved for full coloured, detailed illustration
- it doesn’t really give way for more experimentation and styles
These are mistakes I hopefully can correct this year.^^
I’m not really sure with 2023. I get so much anxiety with the New Year that it’s very difficult to be optimistic and excited. Frankly, I find those celebrations overrated haha. (Maybe I’m a grinch)
But as they always say, the key to happiness is lowered expectations, pfft.
but it’s always about doing better. Or sucking less which is more apt for my situation, lol.
A list of my New Year’s Resolutions would be reserved for a different blogpost. Though TBH I’m a bit undecided with that because well most of them don’t get done, haha.
Maybe New Year’s Goals as it’s more action oriented compared to resolutions which are kinda like wishes at this point.