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/ Ayana / 1 Comment

I’ve been shitposting a lot here in this blog recently, lol.

I plan on being active and post on tumblr and twitter by next week but for now, I want to have some private fun here and treat this wp blog for its original purpose and that is to post whatever I feel like without any anxious thoughts that many people are watching me. ^^;;

Part of what I miss from my 2015-2020 blog was just me being myself. I posted and complained about whatever and yeah that came with a lot of downsides with so many posts about me being angry, reactionary and at the heat of the moment but it was still my safe space.

Of course now that I’ve grown up and matured (I hope, haha) I realised that there are some stuff that shouldn’t be talked about publicly. I also became less naive with how the world worked and learned more on how to control my impulsive behaviour. I’m stilll impulsive but it’s not as bad as before.

Anyway, I recently discovered something about my Blood+ ship’s voice actors.

They’re very popular as a couple in BL drama CDs, hahaHA

I KNEW THERE WAS SOMETHING I OVERLOOKED！

I’m not very familiar with BL drama CDs but I’m familiar with Drama CDs as products. One comment I saw on a Bleach video perked my intersest. The commenter mentioned that Jun Fukuyama and Katsuyuki Konishi are a very popular duo/couple when it came to voicing BL couples in drama CDs. Katsuyuki being famous for voicing the Tops and Jun voicing the bottoms in those CDs.

The comment was brought up because the video was about some fight between Yumichika who is voiced by Jun and Hisagi who is voiced by Katsuyuki. And I immediately remember my B+ ship because Hagi is voiced by Katsuyuki and Gie is voiced by Jun, as well.

seeing that,

I FANGIRLED.

HARD.

>v<

I HAD TO do some research, haha. Apparently, they had some BL drama CDs back in 2005 and the episode where Gie and Haji encountered each other was aired in March 2006. Gie is a “minor” supporting character so Jun was the guest VA (according to the interview I read) and my convo with Rin spawned this idea on what went behind the scenes:

Let me make it clear that I DO NOT ship real people at all.

though ngl they look adorable together when I turn them into cheebs, haha. (srsly dat height difference. )

…maybe I could make an original gay story that revolves around this premise, haha.

I’m sure they’re good friends irl.

I don’t know how Jun looked like in 2006 so I just got this design from his profile pic online. With Katsuyuki, I based his design on his pictures in the Material Settings book 1 (since he was interviewed there as well.)

>. >

Hmmm….

*rubs chin*

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what in the ever loving f***?! [ B+ rant]

/ Ayana / Leave a comment

So I was translating or rather, loosely translating the Material Settings book 2 of BLOOD+ using DeepL (cuz I’m too lazy to translate it myself) and oh friggin’ boy, I have never been so pissed on an interview, lol.

I’m exaggerating but I am still very furious with Fujisaku’s responses or as I would call, revelations on why he killed off my blorbos.

Anyway, the interview I’m referring to is page 82-83 of book 2.

Going to copy-paste the important highlights of the interview where I got so angry on.

(SPOILERS AHEAD)

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blabla

/ Ayana / Leave a comment

Hearkening back at my previous post on fansites, I mentioned about how people generally have to put up a persona and or to post their highlights online which was quite a far cry from the old, wild west of the internet. I hope nobody mistook it as me saying that everyone is being fake. ^^;;

It’s a general thing and not something that everyone does, of course. There are still people especially on tumblr who post as if it’s their journal. But yeah, my theory with the old internet was that not everyone was using the internet back then that’s why people were ..more “authentic”? (though many were also openly rude and bigoted. Lots of slurs being said so casually so it wasn’t a paradise, pfft.)

I recall hearing from older people since I was still a kid at that time and I was quite unaware with many things except fandom and games, lol. that it was usually the geeks/nerds/outcasts who posted on the internet hence, why they weren’t bothered with highlights. It was a way where they can share their passion to fellow”nerds” in other parts of the world. I’m not sure if it’s 100% true but it does make sense to want to only post your hightlights especially when everyone including your parents and work/classmates are on the internet. You’d obviously wanna impress them and not show the “bad” side. Nobody is immune to that. It’s in our instinct to please others.

And my remark with people needing to earn mostly applies to people who rely on their branding for a living. They need their branding to be “pure” to their profile because one little mistake, and it could cost you some customers or clients. But even that applies to many people now.

I’m not immune from the people pleasing, either. I wish I was, lol. I tell myself to not give a fuck but it’s so difficult not to, ngl. （ ;__; ）

Speaking of impressing people, some examples where I try to hide my “bad” or ‘real” side is when I sugarcoat some posts here like when I say I wasn’t feeling mentally well, what happened irl is usually much worse like having a mental breakdown and crying before sleeping and even attempting su*c*de, lol.

Another one would be ranting here but my tumblr and twitter would have none of that (they are mostly art) because I’m too scared of having eyes judging me on what I’m saying and I feel more free to speak my mind here.

AND even in this blog, I sometimes still get so self conscious with what I post that I end up not posting as many text/rambles/blurbs anymore. (Paying 40 USD a year for a site where I barely post anything is a waste of money thinking about it, gahhh.)

That is what I struggle with but I’m trying to curb that overly anxious behaviour.

But something that struck me recently was when Rin told me that when she read my last 2-3 posts (gushing about B+ haha), it looked like that I was having fun again. It’s the first time that she’s seen me so happy and excited in years. I thought about that for a while and she’s right. I get so giddy when I think of my ships and of the AU we made. It’s an old and niche series but I love it. I don’t care if it ain’t mainstream or super popular. I love the characters so much and I’m regaining my passion with drawing again.

And hearing those words from Rin, it made me more motivated to share more posts where I just gush about stuff and not caring if they’re”good enough.”

Besides, it’s not like many people come to this site anyway, haha so I can gush when I want to. ╮(╯▽╰)╭

TLDR; I need to get my money’s worth with this blog by not being excessively self conscious, LMAO.

Of 2000s fansites…

/ Ayana / Leave a comment

I was feeling nostalgic for the old wild west internet in the 2000s. It made me feel blessed that I was able to still remember when the internet wasn’t corporatised and when people were honest with their feelings in a way?

Like, not just showing the highlight reels or a cute ~aesthetic~ workplace, but just showing whatever because they found them interesting regardless if it’s aesthetic or not.

Now obviously some people became too personal, haha and aired their bad laundry out there but then again, nothing was perfect.

I’m not saying everyone now in the internet is being fake but it is a fact that many, if not all people nowadays are focused on branding (profilicity) and impressing others and I get it. People need to make ends meet especially with the economic recession now but it makes me wish that I could go back in time and appreciate and archive websites I used to browse as a kid.

Most would be fansites of ships and anime series I loved.

Ahh, fansites.

It’s A LOT of work, haha.

Back when there wasn’t an “official” wikia for so many anime series and when social media wasn’t a big thing yet, fans would make websites (usually html coded ones) for their favourite ship, character or series. Fansites were quite diverse in their purpose. Some were info/wikia-like sites; just giving out the general information of the series. Some fansites were dedicated to a single character (often called a “shrine”, lol.), a group of characters, a ship, etc.

The first fansite I followed was some Hoennshipping fansite I stumbled in google results because as a kid, I was so in love with May and Brendan being a couple. Eventually, I learned the term “shipping” and pokemon ship names from bulbapedia. Turns out, May and Brendan as a couple is called, “Hoennshipping.”

It all started from there with me being some shadow in the internet constantly searching for more content and info on my favourite anime series and characters. And with that, came the endless stumbling upon so many fansites. The individuality and creativity that these fans had was wonderful and inspiring to see. Yeah, some of ’em were elitist, some of ’em were petty but those were still wacky, fun times.

I’m not saying wikias are bad. They are very useful for info ofc but they’re super clunky. For example, when you click on the search box esp on the B+ wikia, they load a list of pages and only then can you search. Additionally, just the idea of a corporation/company that likes to call themselves “Fandom” is quite dubious.

One thing that I liked from fansites was their Independence. You can upload what you want, as you want. No dumb formatting rules or wiki politics like power users who want to run it like their own petty fiefdom. And Wikia can’t up and pull the plug on you or force it to be designed around their corporate layout.

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BLOOD十 MOOKS!

/ Ayana / Leave a comment

I finally got hold of the Material Settings books of Blood+ !!!!! <333

I used a proxy warehouse service for the first time called Buyee. Apparently, it’s the official partner of Mercari for international shipping so I used it automatically, lol. I’ve read a huge number of bad reviews about it online so I was scared that I might have had my money wasted. Fortunately, it arrived much faster than I expected

So yeah, good service at least from my first time experience with them. ^^;;

Anyway, the small books are actually the bonus materials that come with the Limited Edition Blu Ray DVDs and I thought I could get my hands on them for more reference and trivia/ special information. These are the old 2006 / 7(?) ones because there was a new version released in 2020. I want to buy the 2020 blu ray dvds some time and get the “re-edited” versions of the material books PLUS the art book but they’re quite pricey for me atm and I’m still saving up some money for the vet bills gah.

But if I manage to save enough where I don’t feel guilty for spending over 250-300 USD for a blu-ray series, I’d definitely buy it to support them, haha.

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Restarting and some random comic strips

/ Ayana / Leave a comment

Hello.

So with a little bit of pep talk, I thought of resuming the 67-page pocket citron comic/doujin that I was meant to do last year but then…..things happened, lol.

It’ll take a little while to finish it aside from the fact that it’s approximately friggin’ 67 pages long, I have other art priorities like illustration and short comics to do. ^^;;>

(and other shorter doujins on the side.)

But I will finish it. I don’t want the story/script for this to gather dust. If not for the fandom, it’s for personal reasons as I can terribly relate to Malik with having been raised with such a controlling parent and this comic is a way to release those sentiments. ORZ

The sketches above were actually from last year and I might have to revise them this year since the panelling feels a bit off to me. Since it’s digital, I want it to be more….scroll-friendly (?) without that many panels cluttering in a single page.

Anyway, more silly Blood+ comic strips below based from Telegram chats with Rin. :’D

01

I seriously can’t get over that huge plot hole with Hagi, haha. No wonder the guy isn’t mentally well and gets impaled often in the series by his enemies, gah. So I think when he eats/drinks normally, he’d regain a lot of his strength and charisma. A healthy, well-nourished body is a healthy mind as they say.

02

I don’t have the settei for Gudriff so I don’t know how his eyes looks like without those shades (if the settei even has that version which I’m sure they don’t. ) so Rin came up with that idea of him having dem Lady Oscar eyes, haha.