Yo.

/ Ayana / Leave a comment

I was supposed to blog last night but my computer crashed so I had to let Rin post for me on twitter and tumblr. ORZ

If only I did not have to update Windows. It’s been getting so slow, lately. fucking bastard of an OS.

Anyway,

I’ve been getting into a Visual Novel called, Fata Morgana no Yakata / The House in Fata Morgana and so far, it’s been super amazing with the characters and twists in the story! (❤️´艸｀❤️)

I really recommend this if you’re into gothic horror. ^^

Women with noses! I barely see that in seinen moe anime, lol.(dots for noses, lmao. hate that crap.)

Joke aside, I love their art style so much!!!! ❤️❤️❤️

Unfortunately,this VN is….criminally obscure. ORZZZZ

Gods, why the heck do I always get into obscure series?

Maybe cuz obscure ones are often much better than mainstream ones AHAHAHA (≧∀≦)

That’s not exactly a hot take but I feel like saying that would make me come off as a hippie or some edgelord. IDGAF. It be true, though from my experience. >_>

Precious hidden gems, I tell you! 😤

The strip below is another old idea spawned from a chat about me and Rin disliking this godawful trope that’s overused in anime.

It was Rin’s idea to use Superman and Batman, lol. But really, I almost always see it with girl characters in anime and you can say, Oh, well guy characters do that in Yaoi/R18 manga but the skinship grope trope is even in anime series that are not even meant to be sexual, in shonen anime for example. It’s as if it’s a requirement in every hot spring episode for girls to fucking grope each other without consent and in such a voyeuristic manner too.

And it’s funny becaue from my personal experience as a woman, when we’re in the bathroom or”locker room”, nobody gropes each other in that way. Nobody makes such a huge fuss if one of my classmates had really big boobs. Yeah, there’d be some remark on how “lucky” they are but it would just be one statement and we’d often jump to another non sexual topic. They won’t grope you all of a sudden. We just mind our own business and talk about random topics.

I wonder if it’s the male writer, and it’s usually them who project that “dick measuring” stuff to women. Or just an excuse to have a voyeuristic fanservice scene.

Hmm…Both.

Well, if they’re going to do that, at least do the same for the men with them groping each other’s schlongs and remarking how girthy or long they are but ofc they don’t. (¬_¬ )

(And don’t friggin’ tell me showing a guy half naked with abs has the same degree of fanservice to crotch/arse shots and the jiggling breasts of women. You don’t even see the male equivalent of the BWH measurements that they often give to women characters in anime. Gods, I hate it when some guy anime fans always bring that argument up ( ˘︹˘ ))

And yes, anime is not supposed to be realistic all the time and tropes are tropes because it builds stories and I agree with that but this kind of trope is well, annoying, gross and turns me off everytime I see it. It’s also uneccessary.

Miyazaki was right, hahaha.

another rant, haha. Whoops!

I got carried away.

I was also working on the comic commission last weekend. I had to ask for more clarification from my client in one part of her comic strip and had some difficulty with storyboarding some scenarios but I’m nearly one with the thumbnailing, thankfully. (‾◡◝)

That’s all I can say for today, welp. Need to grind some more. ^^

sketches

/ Ayana / 6 Comments

I’m not feeling mentally well atm. I had another existenstial depressive episode today after another kin died recently so that sucked. ORZ

I just did some loose sketching to relax myself a bit from my anxiety, gah.

First attempt at Kazuki from Get Backers. ^_^

I remember watching that anime as a preschooler and I fell in love with him the moment I saw him. He was just so pretty and dainty looking…but deadly at the same time.

…

It’s not obvious but…………

I really have a thing for androgynous characters.

Also Kazuki had some…gay relationship with another character (Juubei) there. I remember that was my earliest exposure to gay relationships in anime. Well, Get backers really had a lot of gay stuff that’s for sure.

The design here is a bit off though, so I need to get more references of him, haha. I just saved a picture of his settei sketch on my phone and thought that hey maybe I could sketch him so I have had made a drawing for today and this came about.

(^^)>

I’ve always wanted to draw him. I only looked forward to episodes that featured him tbh, haha. Ban can go get fucked, lol jk.

I feel like ever since late last year, I’ve been making fanart of characters that I’ve always wanted to make since I was a kid but thought I was too unskilled to do so, lol. Now I’m like. I’m okay-ish in my skills so I should draw all of them childhood blorbos!

Maybe I’m overcompensating.

That, and I just really love them. Friggin’ Get Backers, GiTS: SAC, Ghost Stories, YGO, Blood+, etc babysat my arse when my parents were busy neglecting me because of work so they have a precious spot in my heart and in my memories, haha.

Also, random telegram chat idea sketch:

I don’t know how the entire shirt underneath the schiff’s trenchcoat blazer thing looks like because the material settings only showed a glimpse of it but me and Rin headcanon that it’s sleeveless because it would be really redundant if it had sleeves while wearing the blazer and then the cloak.

Also ‘cuz it looks cool haha. This was an idea that spawned from our chat. Since they’re always so covered up, seeing them expose some of their skin would be surprising to the non-schiff…like Hagi over here. :3C

No matter how much they try to shove HagixSaya propaganda in the material settings books I have, I am very resistant to it, bahaha.

dfsdgfdgdfgfd

/ Ayana / Leave a comment

3/4 of the storyboard FINISHED!!! ( •̀ᄇ• ́)ﻭ✧

It’s all blobs, haha. But that’s how my BTS is. It’s uhh..something I can only decipher, lol.

I have to use a multi-ink ballpoint pen for this since it’s convenient for changing colours at a whim. Different colours like red and blue help to identify where the speech balloons are meant to be located, and the detail/description of every panel, respectively.

You can see that I just printed out some random storyboard template I found online since my Midori Storyboard notebook has ran out of pages and it’s a limited edition from..2017-18(?) so I can’t buy it anymore, ORZ.

I like this template though because it has that Midori storyboard format I was looking for, minus the url and logo of the website below, lol.

‘Gonna use this storyboard template for future comics. （＾ｖ＾）

Geez, doing all these made me miss making comic projects like this.. (ಥ _ʖಥ)

Sigh. I barely drew any doujins/comic projects for the past two years come to think of it. I used to be super passionate with making them and I dunno what exactly caused my exasperation with it.

What went wrong, I wonder.

Continue reading →

Concept Sketches [ part 2 ]

/ Ayana / Leave a comment

Still on a decaf day. ORZ

‘Never thought there’d be a day where Atem is the MC of a comic I’ll draw, haha. (forgive me, TKB and Mariku)

Granted, it’s a commission and the story is written by my client but it’s going to be a good challenge and a breath of fresh air. Atem/Yugi’s hair is fun to colour, heh .

I mentioned before that I’ll post better images for the rough concept sketches of a comic commission and here they are. ^^

(These are on A4 sheets)

So many Atems, lol. I may have drawn the right one in a bad angle ORZ

The one on the left is version 1 of Atem that I did a week ago and the one on the right is the second and more updated version of him which I sketched today.

I’m quite rusty with drawing ygo characters tbh as it’s been quite a while since I last drew them on a regular basis, lol. My love for an obscure anime may have took over since late last year, sorry.

Anyway, Atem/Yugi’s hair has always been difficult to draw hence, why I had to draw more sketches of him here. I need to get used to his hairstyle especially since I’ll be making a comic about him. I’ll have to draw him multiple times and with different expressions. :’D

Here’s another character who resembles you know who and that’s all I can say ‘cuz I am afraid of putting too much spoilers out there.

Although that one is the initial draft and that’s not his final look.

I still can’t believe someone commissioned me for a comic, heh. I feel better about my comic skills to think someone would pay me to make one, :’)

Tomorrow, I’ll be able to drink coffee (FINALLY) and will grind the hell out. I’ll be doing the storyboards for this comic by then too. (๑•̀ㅂ•́)و

Will post these on tumblr and twitter tomorrow. Too tired now, gah. I hate caffeine withdrawal.

Rifts

/ Ayana / Leave a comment

The caffeine withdrawal led to my heavy fatigue today ORZ.

I slept for the entire day today. Thankfully, it’s Sunday so I can kinda excuse myself with it but still, I hate that feeling of being “unproductive”. I know rest days are important but I can’t help feeling that way.^^;;

I always need to be doing something and if I do something for relaxation, I beat myself up because I’m plagued with so much guilt of doing something so “selfish’.”‘ and so “lazy.”

I’m aware all of these are just capitalist brainwashing but it’s so hard to detach myself from that mentality especially when I’ve been indoctrinated with that belief ever since I was little.

Well, just one more day and then I can have coffee again. and I’ll be able to return to my usual productive self, lol.

Continue reading →

bleh

/ Ayana / Leave a comment

why do wisdom teeth even exist?

fucking hurts when the anaesthesia wears off.Need to take painkillers.

And it’s just 1/2 teeth because my dentist thought that it might be too overwhelming for me especially since it’s my first time getting my teeth extracted. So I’ll probably get my second one extracted next month and I’m not looking forward for another week of eating soft foods and doing barely any exercise, lol.

The feeling of being awake while the dentist is extracting your tooth under topical anaesthesia is so weird though.

Anything that requires anaesthesia freaks me out tbh. Didn’t help Dad scared me telling me how anaesthesiology is one of the most difficult specialisations in medicine and the most critical in a surgery. Can’t have too much or too little.or else…..

….bad things happen for both the patient and the surgeon.

Gods, And I’m not even allowed to drink coffee for a few days too. The caffeine withdrawal is gonna be such a pain in the arse to deal with especially when I need to be drawing more this weekend. Storyboard, thumbnail. etc.

And I need that caffeine to keep me awake. ORZ

also forgot it’s Chinese New Year tomorrow. I was wondering why there were fireworks here, lol.

mmm not sure if I’ll draw something for it. My mind is pretty blank atm (I’m drowsy af) but maybe a simple chibi bunny/ rabbit drawing? Ryou probably cuz he’s always the sweet little bunny mascot here\.

idk. depends.

Need to sleep. Goodnight.

Experiment

/ Ayana / 2 Comments

Welp, ko-fi restored my profile today (well, yesterday in my timezone since it’s midnight now ).

That was quick, lol.

Maybe it’s because I’m used to other platforms being rather slow to respond that’s why I was worried yesterday.

Anyway,

this is a three page comic I did since the other day. I thought of experimenting with coloured comics and utilising a soft style again inspired by Hwei Lim, heh. I really love her use of soft colours but I still suck compared to her. T__T

A wangsty, white-haired woobie…my weakness…

I ship them so friggin much, haha. (Irene as the wing..woman? wingmate/shipper)

Like, Hagi being tsundere because he has difficulty processing his feelings after all those years of being devoted to Saya and after moving on, finds himself liking someone new. It makes for a compelling arc for him imho. ^^;;

And of course, Gie angsting about his physical limitations / cursed body as an artificial chevalier like in canon. Not exactly having a high self esteem especially in regards to being liked in that way by his former enemy.

haaaah…took me and Rin like, two weeks to flesh him out cuz Fujisaku didn’t give him a personality in canon, haha.

It’s so weird but that’s how I shipped deathshipping too. Just accidental from thinking of scenarios and the rest is history. I still love my deathship after all these years. /weeps/

But the main difference is, they’re not crack like death or citron. Gie and Hagi met in canon unlike those two ships. It just so happens Gie only appears in one episode and dies at the same episode too, lol. (A victim of Fujisaku)

But my blorbo doesn’t die in my AU! Screw the canon version. He and the rest of the Schiff get a happy ending. /huffs /

Ship ramble aside, as appealing as coloured comics are, I cannot fathom making an entire doujin in colour. I can do itif there’s a financial incentive like a commission, (and this comic was used to check if I can use this colouring style for the commission) but with personal works,

hmm

I think if it’s a short bonus comic, I could do it coloured but the rest, I’ll stick to monochrome, lol.

frig….

/ Ayana / Leave a comment

Basically, I uploaded a preview pic of an R18 commission I did and then suddenly had my ko-fi page unpublished…\

Though could be because I also linked my R18 blogsite too.

I made a big oopsie.ORZ

I read again their ToS from the links and damn, it’s become really more specific than the last time I read it a few years ago. Like, even previews aren’t allowed?

Maybe I should have tagged my account as NSFW back then although I don’t mostly draw nsfw hence why I didn’t tag it in the first place when i made my account there.

Maaaaaaannnnn

This friggin’ sucks. It’s within 7 days not exactly after 7 days but still, I worry about them not responding at all even though I submitted a form and took down that nsfw-ish image in my ko-fi site.

The least they could do was do a tumblr and just flag that post instead of my entire ko-fi page, y’know. >__>

Well,

they better respond and put it back. I’m payin’ for their gold plan, haha. 50 usd per year ain’t a small amount.

Anyway,

lesson learned. NEVER EVER post anything that’s even mildly nsfw there especially since my kofi account wasn’t made for nsfw stuff.

Here’s my alternative tip jar/donation link while Ko-fi is currently evaluating my submission ^_^;;:

paypal.me/milliekou

But that was so fast. Like just a few minutes after posting it, I get slammed with this. Bots be getting too smart. >:/

I remember an artist mentioning how the internet isn’t friendly to artists (back when elon musk was the new ceo of twitter) especially to artists who draw nsfw and even if they wanted to get out of twitter which has become more filled with bigots ever since he ook over, but they can’t because of the limitations that many platforms have set and it is true, unfortunately. I get why they’re very strict with porn content to avoid CP and all those gross stuff, but they don’t really have to also ban ethical/legal erotica/art.

ah well.

I have a lot to draw this week so gotta grind!