getting rid of old drawings

Hello.

I forgot to post here two days ago, sorry. ORZ

But I made a short R-18 comic strip and uploaded it to my nsfw blog if you’re interested in seeing it. I will post more stuff there for this year. Don’t wanna turn that site into a ghosttown lol.

It’s one of a series of short comic strips based from old ideas/scripts that I will be doing for the past few weeks to warm up and practice more with different colouring styles and values. (one of my weaknesses). It’ll be citron, pocket citron, deathship, mirror pup, any of those things.

Anyway,

Today, I’ve been occupied with decluttering very old sketchbooks. I threw the trivial ones away, stuff that is too incoherent to understand. I know the idea of throwing very old artworks (or in my case, scribbles during class) is debatable but I’m not privileged enough to have so much storage space in my home, lol.

I ripped out and scanned the decent-looking sketches/artworks and by decent, drawings that look like they have some sense, lol. And yeah you can say, “Oh but you should keep the ones you deem ugly because you might regret it.” but it’s not the ugly part, rather it’s how messy and cluttered the scribbles were.

Some of the drawings I scanned and kept in a hard drive:

(Put a block because I wrote my real signature there, gah.)

Here are examples of the stuff I threw away and didn’t scan:

They don’t make any sense do they? haha.

I had probably hundreds of these kinds of sketches that I didn’t scan and threw out. Something I noticed was how they were all unfinished. It was just drawing one deformed head and leaving it as is and jumping to the next one and then not finishing it. I don’t know what this is a sign of exactly but I feel like my mind back then was so cluttered and going from one thing to the next easily.

Those drawings were also at a time where I was just drawing because I felt like drawing, that feeling of wanting to scribble something out because I just wanted to.

eh.

Scanning the decent ones take so much time unfortunately. Took me almost half a day for a few sketchbooks, so friggin’ tedious. But I have many old ones that I need to throw out because they’re gathering so much dust and space. As much as it’s ideal to keep everything for memories, a lot of em are just nonsensical junk.

I want to write more but I’m so tired, gah.

perfect.

I’ve been confiding with Rin about my anxiety with art since last night, haha. I get paranoid for example if it’s the good composition, or if the values are right, blablahblah.

This is what happens when I study too much on the technicalities and spend the day scrolling through pro artists works at ArtStation and IG and comparing myself with how good they are that I kinda suffered from terrible anxiety with drawing.

bleh. It’s my fault.

Scroll only for a few minutes, but I may have ended up scrolling more than that, ORZ.

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