‘Got too frustrated with drawing yesterday. Y’know that feeling when you are certain what it’s supposed to be like but you can’t seem to do it right no matter what you do?
That was like it for me. ORZ
I seriously wanted to pull all my hairs out from the absolute frustration that I was having.
Gods, why do I even draw when being an artist means signing up for a lifetime of disappointment and discouragement? >__>
Ah well.
Anyway., here’s a sketch comparison from a year ago with the way I drew Mariku.
It’s a bit messy haha. But I actually drew the feb 2023 one on the same page. It was an A4 Midori sketchbook so I thought of using the extra space for the updated version.
I can still see some mistakes on the 2023 one, sighhhh but I’ll just improve as I go along.
Well, gtg. I still have to grind for other stuff for today, ugh,
I also got to finish the thumbnails of the comic commission so the next step would be sketching and then lineart and the colouring. Hopefully, I can finish it in a month and a half since it’s gonna be nonstop grinding at this point. (plus colouring would put more effort and then more time, gahh.)
I’m also trying to balance my time with storyboarding chapter 7 of the AUU on top of that. Playing Fata Morgana last week made me remember how much I still love deathshipping, gendeerbent or not, it’s still the same beautiful dynamic, haha.
Here’s a preview of the 2023 updated script:
Can’t believe it’s been two years since I last updated the AUU, though. I’m not really sure if people would still read it if I ever finish Chapter 7 but eh, I need to show I can finish stuff. And we both worked hard for that. It would be a shame if we just left it hanging there. Six chapters is sooo little.
Although throughout the years, I learned that sometimes, things don’t really go to plan and there are periods where I get too burnt out to draw so I need to take a hiatus from the doujin project from time to time. ORZ
Me and Rin have a lot of AUs for deathship tbh, haha. There’s a Monster World AU (non chibi) I want to do too but I’ll have to find time for that as well.
Ahh..And then there’s the pocket citron which is the longest, and something I also want to finish this year.
Here’s are some very rough pen doodles of my ygo babies:
I hope I improved drawing these babies, haha. I mean, it’s ballpen drawings but ..I needed to see if I still got it, haha…haaaa.
ahhh…maybe not.
It’s really been a while since I drew them. T__T
Need to practice drawing their hair again, haha. And clothing.
Come to think of it, we also have this side story of the AUU which is Angstshipping. It’s around the question on what if Mariku and YB didn’t come back? So Malik and Ryou are the main couple here. Me and Rin just ended up falling in love with their dynamic and chemistry that we ended up shipping them while making the AUU chapters, haha.
And then, there’s the Mirror! pup comic scenarios I also want to draw because we accidentally shipped the Alternate versions of Jou and Seto, haha. To think they started off as best buddies in that AU for the lulz.
Honestly, it’s a fucking lot. All the ygo stuff I posted before are just the tip of the iceberg, haha. I do miss drawing them. But it’s also good to alternate fandoms. I don’t really want to just draw ygo, haha. I still have me other blorbos from other beloved series I want to draw.
Ahhh, why do comics have to be so time consuming?
I also sometimes have those self sabotage episodes where I become too paralysed with perfectionism and overwhelmed with self doubt that it delays me from finishing many passion project works. But it’s a bad habit that should stop this year because I’m sick and tired of doubting myself.
What do I even accomplish when I follow that stupid, negative voice in my head that insists that everyone hates what I draw?
Nothing.
Anyway, I should head to bed. Need to sleep. I have to wake up early. ORZ
Will post these tomorrow on tumblr and twitter. Gods, I forgot to post there for the past two days. I need to be regular with posting this month, gah.
‘Never thought there’d be a day where Atem is the MC of a comic I’ll draw, haha. (forgive me, TKB and Mariku)
Granted, it’s a commission and the story is written by my client but it’s going to be a good challenge and a breath of fresh air. Atem/Yugi’s hair is fun to colour, heh .
I mentioned before that I’ll post better images for the rough concept sketches of a comic commission and here they are. ^^
(These are on A4 sheets)
So many Atems, lol. I may have drawn the right one in a bad angle ORZ
The one on the left is version 1 of Atem that I did a week ago and the one on the right is the second and more updated version of him which I sketched today.
I’m quite rusty with drawing ygo characters tbh as it’s been quite a while since I last drew them on a regular basis, lol. My love for an obscure anime may have took over since late last year, sorry.
Anyway, Atem/Yugi’s hair has always been difficult to draw hence, why I had to draw more sketches of him here. I need to get used to his hairstyle especially since I’ll be making a comic about him. I’ll have to draw him multiple times and with different expressions. :’D
Here’s another character who resembles you know who and that’s all I can say ‘cuz I am afraid of putting too much spoilers out there.
Although that one is the initial draft and that’s not his final look.
I still can’t believe someone commissioned me for a comic, heh. I feel better about my comic skills to think someone would pay me to make one, :’)
Tomorrow, I’ll be able to drink coffee (FINALLY) and will grind the hell out. I’ll be doing the storyboards for this comic by then too. (๑•̀ㅂ•́)و
Will post these on tumblr and twitter tomorrow. Too tired now, gah. I hate caffeine withdrawal.
I got carried away with painting a number of layers on a 50 gsm paper so it wrinkled. ORZ
Anyway, I’m just filling up all the remaining blank and uncoloured pages on my hobo. Scanning old sketches prompted this motivation for me to stay consistent and improve my skills.
And to dabble more with traditional media esp watercolours.
I’m still a huge amateur when it comes to watercolours but using them is very relaxing. ^^
I wanted to post this last night but I was too exhausted I ended up falling asleep at front of my laptop, ORZ.
Anyway,
Some very old OCs of mine created back in High School that I painted on my hobonichi, lol.
I thought of drawing those and other random stuff to fill the many blank pages of my hobo. Unfortunately, I haven’t written/drawn there regularly compared to last year but I didn’t want to keep the planner blank. The main reason with the hobonichi being expensive, lol. I really can’t afford to waste them.
And it does help. I mentioned in my previous blog post that I struggled with not finishing sketches and being very irregular with my sketchbook. I’d end up getting sick of it and buy a new one and repeat the whole process again.
I was drawing heads everywhere. (many of them faceless) I barely went past the neck. Thinking about it now, it was probably because I didn’t know shit about the anatomy after them such as the upper and lower limbs, torso and pelvis so I couldn’t be bothered.
I lacked any knowledge on how they worked so I was merely stuck on heads, haha.
Gods, they were such a cluttered mess that I don’t feel bad throwing so many of them away. I regret the fact that it took years of this same kind of blunder and why it only took me joining the ygo fandom to take drawing seriously. But at the same time, I know that I’m a better artist now. Not as skilled as I want to be . I’m still learning more and always wanting to improve but I know I’m much better than “Only-drawing-heads Millie.”
…
Who knew being so guilty of buying an expensive planner and making sure I don’t waste a paper of it curbed those bad habits? lol. I’m saving up for another one for next year. 😀
Me and Rin have started watching Slam Dunk which is like, the OG Basketball anime/manga series. (Sorry, Kuroko. ;-;)
I actually thought she wouldn’t bother with watching it because… sports (lol),it’s basketball and she’s British. I was assuming Rin preferred football but to my surprise, she told me she doesn’t give a crap about that sport and likes hand held ball sports like Basketball.
I swear she really breaks the British stereotype, lol. She even hates tea, haha….
ahhh…same though. with football.
I’m not a fan of football. In fact, I don’t really know anything about that sport. I only know Messi and Beckham and that’s just because I keep hearing their names from commercials and such (and I only knew David Beckham from Victoria Beckham).
Unfortunately, that’s pretty much my only knowledge about that sport, gah. plsdontkillmefootballfans
I watched some football games to pass the time back then but for some reason I couldnt’t get into it. Basketball seems more fun and exciting to me.
Hmmmm…..
Must be because I can see the players’ delts, hehe. :3C
Anyway, I wanted to practice with drawing Sakuragi, the MC of the series. He’s quite a fun character and a very sensitive one too. <3333
Gods, I friggin shipped this Blood + couple so much since I was little, haha.
(And yeah, my young arse watched this kind of anime because my parents were so busy with work they didn’t exactly monitor what I watched…unfortunately. :/)
I should re-do this into a cleaner digital artwork /comic since i messed up the painting here ORZ.
If you haven’t watched the series but want to, I suggest not scrolling down further because of spoilers.
After like, two weeks of not posting any art I finally have something to show. ^^;;
I’m sooo sorry for the idleness. ORZZ
It’s not perfect. It’s fairly rough but well, that’s expected from an amateur at watercolours, lol.
Traditional media specifically painting seems to be good medium to combat my anxiety and perfectionism paralysis with art. A giant blank digital canvas is a lot more intimidating. Not to mention the numerous CSP tools and the undo button which exarcerbates my toxic perfectionist mindset.
While with painting traditionally, it gives me more permission to be imperfect and experimental because watercolour is generally a difficult medium; inherently unpredictable (esp for my newbie ass lol) and subject to a lot of different conditions such as paper type, wetness, brushes, etc.
And it’s just very therapeutic. The weather has been really crappy; super grey and rainy so it probably dampened my mood for the past week or so and I needed a therapeutic outlet. (Is it SAD?)
edit: damn i ended up typing archers instead of arches lmao.
I tested a new watercolour paper, Baohong, and it seemed quite decent especially with the blending. Comparable to Arches apparently according to some people but I’ve never tried the latter so I don’t know if it’s true, lol. (Isn’t Arches like the Rolls Royce of watercolour paper?)
But it’s affordable for like, a 100% cotton watercolour paper and I need all the practice sheets since I’m a total amateur with this media. :’D
(gods, where were all these good, quality affordable brands when I was young? lol.
One reason why I didn’t do watercolours as a kid aside from having barely any art class in my school’s curriculum was due to how expensive they were around me when I was a broke af student.)
It’s a redraw of a little smiling tkb from last year.
The texture is quite rough. ‘Could be because it’s cold press but also due to the lighting..
Anyway, I scanned it and enhanced the colours slightly to make some of ’em pop.
My tablet also broke a few hours ago. ugh.
I’m extremely frustrated since it’s been with me for almost a decade and it just..doesn’t work anymore all of a sudden.
I didn’t have that much time to draw as much as I’d hoped to due to some family stuff today. ORZ.
I was able to do some studies/practice with drawing Kaiba and Jou for future projects, specifically for FUOH (A Mirror! Puppyshipping side story). I have to draw their hair well. ^^
It’s been a while since I used colourful markers, lol. (The colours on Jou’s hair are quite dull. oops.)
The most important thing is that I have a good grasp on their hair now.
m i l l i e k o u 