I’ve been meaning to finish this comic today but I was busy with other stuff earlier. ORZ
Here’s a WIP shot of the upcoming short comic strip:
I’ll be at the countryside this weekend for family obligations hence why I’m so frustrated about not finishing this today.
I’ll do my best to finish this short comic strip on Monday, though. I’m aiming for a rough or “unpolished” style because my goal is to be very loose with drawing and colouring, haha. Not that I want it to be ugly but I want to find comfort in making “rough” works. It might help me overcome my anxiety and perfectionism. (。・・)ノ
This chibi art is my excuse to draw a pie I recently came to love (and crave!) with my favourite ship.
So the story is, I tried some Lemon Cream Pie a few months ago and I never expected to end up falling in love with its taste and velvety texture, haha. I was never a fan of lemon-y desserts like lemon cakes, lemon squares, etc. because I couldn’t imagine eating something especially a dessert that had a lemon taste. I always thought that lemons are only good as a drink (lemonade) or something to accompany a seafood dish but this pie changed my mind. It was sooo scrumptious and smooth I ended up eating probably more than half of the entire pie, eheh…^_^;;
I love citronshipping so much that whenever I see lemons or any fruit resembling citron fruits, my mind imemdiately goes to that ship, haha.
And drawing food is relaxing so why not make an artwork of a favourite ship PLUS a favourite dessert?
‘Sucks to say I had such severe depression this week. A mixture of rl stress/problems and hormones (PMDD) exacerbating the entire thing with terrible mood swings which completely zapped my motivation to do anything that’s self-care related.
Plus a heavy period since yesterday, ORZ. I was fatigued and I was lying in pain for hours today. (Even painkillers aren’t that effective nowadays, ugh.)
I was confiding to Rin about my perfectionist mentality last night which hindered me from drawing as much as before(aside from Trauma). I found myself endlessly scrolling through so many amazing art because I burnt out weeks ago and I wanted to gain inspiration. Unfortunately, there’s a limit to scrolling as I found out because instead of making me inspired, it left me super unmotivated and discouraged to draw, LOL.
I felt so inadequate with my skills comparing myself to their art that I wanted to quit drawing.
What’s the point of drawing when I fucking suck and like 100000s of artists are better than me? All my art is trash and nobody likes it. I should quit.
It sounds doomer and childish, haha but I’m sure I’m not the only one who experiences that. Not to mention, endlessly scrolling, telling myself ” Oh, this is for inspiration for me to draw.” thinking it was helping me when I was self-harming essentially. It was causing me more depression and anxiety making me think I need to be X type with A detail just for me to be a good artist. I was procrastinating through it, too. Instead of drawing, i just scrolled and scrolled until I felt so disgusted with my works and even myself. I was sulking and wallowing in self hatred instead of grinding.
So being desperate to stop this, I asked Rin to be my accountability buddy in the meantime. She agreed and she told me I’m currently banned from looking and scrolling through artists online. That I should be getting my inspiration from offline sources which helps more because there’s no endless scrolling option offline (art books). Hopefully, I can keep up with it. It’s been helping me today at least, to focus more on my art and our comics.
Thankfully I’m gaining back my momentum so I hope I become as fast as I was before all that stressful crap happened last year and be more productive and post more art. ᕦ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)ᕤ
This AE comic idea came from an old bbc documentary entitled, “Pedigree Dogs Exposed.” It’s an old documentary from 2008 but I only watched it a few weeks ago and I recommended it to Rin right after. It’s common knowledge by now that mutts are generally healthier than purebred dogs but it was still a very interesting…or rather, appalling and eye-opening documentary.
I always find it weird how cat owners from my experience don’t really give a crap about their cat breeds while dog owners (like me) fuss about breeds, lol. I get certain breeds have some history to it (working dog breeds for herding, etc. ) but the whole pure breed standard stuff emphasis on Pure..kinda’ seems problematic to me especially regarding the flat faced dog breeds (pugs, french and english bulldogs, etc).
Anyway, sorry for getting carried away,
the entire idea of purebred, purity or pure blood made me think of the Ancient Egyptian Royal Family who were…. inbred irl. This comic was mostly to poke fun of it. That, and I despise monarchies. It’s strange how me and Rin were talking about inbred purebred dogs and then it went to poking fun at royalty, lol.
I spent the entire week mourning the passing of my beloved dog so I apologise if I haven’t replied or posted anything lately. It’s been very difficult to adjust to this new reality without my relative and my pet. I’m still grieving obviously but I’m feeling better than before. I’ve been exercising more and de-rusting with drawing.
I admit, I am super out of practice with drawing. I lost my passion for it after my relative’s death and this loss became worse when my dog died. I even wanted to delete all of my blogs/social media accounts after finishing the remaining commissions. I couldn’t bear to finish the Blood Plus comic or just look at it because I was working on it when I was told that my relative was intubated and in a critical condition. Everytime I see it, I just get flashbacks of that scenario and it pains me when I get those.
I ended up having an existenstial crisis after their deaths. Reflecting on my own mortality and re-examining what I want to do with my life, lol. I’ve been super clingy with my family and other pets, too. I wanted to spend more time with them because….you never know. (aka catastrophic thinking)
Anyway, I tried to de-rust myself with some cheebs. It’s actually more detailed colour-wise. oops
I wanted it to be simplistic, just like a regular messy doodle but I wanted to also do some colouring/painting warmups so I went crazy with glazing and using different tones, values etc, whatever could help me regain my momentum.
I didn’t like the result ORZ. Welp, just need more practice.
edit: damn i ended up typing archers instead of arches lmao.
I tested a new watercolour paper, Baohong, and it seemed quite decent especially with the blending. Comparable to Arches apparently according to some people but I’ve never tried the latter so I don’t know if it’s true, lol. (Isn’t Arches like the Rolls Royce of watercolour paper?)
But it’s affordable for like, a 100% cotton watercolour paper and I need all the practice sheets since I’m a total amateur with this media. :’D
(gods, where were all these good, quality affordable brands when I was young? lol.
One reason why I didn’t do watercolours as a kid aside from having barely any art class in my school’s curriculum was due to how expensive they were around me when I was a broke af student.)
Anyway, I scanned it and enhanced the colours slightly to make some of ’em pop.
I’m extremely frustrated since it’s been with me for almost a decade and it just..doesn’t work anymore all of a sudden.
I realised that I haven’t posted and drawn as many personal art these past few months due to very hectic rl stuff earlier this year which is quite frustrating. My output has decreased quite significantly compared to last year so I thought of doing daily weekday doodles starting this week.
My goal is to draw anything, be it fanart or original art, a messy sketch/doodle, painting, comic or just a WIP/thumbnail and upload it here on WP, tumblr and twitter from Mondays to Fridays. ^_^