wip

WIP

/ Ayana / Leave a comment

Hello.

I may have overestimated myself. ORZ

I thought making a short monochromatic mirror! puppyshipping comic would only take a few days but I was wrong, lol. And it’s already Tuesday night of this week.

Although, to be fair, my computer has been super slow since late last week. It froze frequently last weekend that I couldn’t even do a proper stroke or click on CSP without restarting on its own sometimes so I had to update the system. Which took an hour or so, lol.

I know it’s my fault for not updating my computer in years but from my experience, most apple updates make the device slower and I didn’t want that to happen again. I was already comfortable with this 2-3 year old system until a few weeks ago where I noticed it was freezing more. It wasn’t the storage as I keep most stuff in hard drives, so there was lots of storage space available, and I only have a few applications.

Bleh. Friggin’ Apple. I decided to update the OS and….so far, no slower stuff…..

not yet anyway. >__>

At least, it’s not as bad as the one last weekend.

And another part of that slowness is me being out of momentum with comics unlike before where I’d be quick because I made comics as if they were a regular drawing activity (and I also wasn’t that paralysed with perfectionism) but now, I may have slowed down. T__T

I think I can get through this like the old days, though. It’s getting the ball rolling that’s the most difficult part but it can be done.

I’m currently balancing two comic strips at the same time, haha. Both YGO ..but I also wanna draw some Hagie AU at the same time, heh.

Here’s a WIP shot of the Mirror! pup comic:

Gotta get rid of those ink dots looking at it now, haha. Gods, my eyes are getting worse.

A friendly, kind looking Kaiba still throws me off slightly but not like before where I just cringed whenever I drew him like that, haha.

Also…

I jsut realised.

I forgot to post that Mirror! Jou chibi on Tumblr and Twitter, gah.

I’ll promise to post that and this tomorrow morning cuz I feel sleepy right now typing this, and there’s a new spot on my face cuz my sleeping schedule lfor the last two weeks have been so irregular, ORZ.

People have been commenting how absent minded I have been lately. Forgetting and misplacing my things. ugh…..

I guess that messed up sleep pattern has caused so much brain fog and lack of focus.

So I’m fixing it. I’ll get behind on a decent sleep schedule this week. ^^/

Yo.

/ Ayana / Leave a comment

I was supposed to blog last night but my computer crashed so I had to let Rin post for me on twitter and tumblr. ORZ

If only I did not have to update Windows. It’s been getting so slow, lately. fucking bastard of an OS.

Anyway,

I’ve been getting into a Visual Novel called, Fata Morgana no Yakata / The House in Fata Morgana and so far, it’s been super amazing with the characters and twists in the story! (❤️´艸｀❤️)

I really recommend this if you’re into gothic horror. ^^

Women with noses! I barely see that in seinen moe anime, lol.(dots for noses, lmao. hate that crap.)

Joke aside, I love their art style so much!!!! ❤️❤️❤️

Unfortunately,this VN is….criminally obscure. ORZZZZ

Gods, why the heck do I always get into obscure series?

Maybe cuz obscure ones are often much better than mainstream ones AHAHAHA (≧∀≦)

That’s not exactly a hot take but I feel like saying that would make me come off as a hippie or some edgelord. IDGAF. It be true, though from my experience. >_>

Precious hidden gems, I tell you! 😤

The strip below is another old idea spawned from a chat about me and Rin disliking this godawful trope that’s overused in anime.

It was Rin’s idea to use Superman and Batman, lol. But really, I almost always see it with girl characters in anime and you can say, Oh, well guy characters do that in Yaoi/R18 manga but the skinship grope trope is even in anime series that are not even meant to be sexual, in shonen anime for example. It’s as if it’s a requirement in every hot spring episode for girls to fucking grope each other without consent and in such a voyeuristic manner too.

And it’s funny becaue from my personal experience as a woman, when we’re in the bathroom or”locker room”, nobody gropes each other in that way. Nobody makes such a huge fuss if one of my classmates had really big boobs. Yeah, there’d be some remark on how “lucky” they are but it would just be one statement and we’d often jump to another non sexual topic. They won’t grope you all of a sudden. We just mind our own business and talk about random topics.

I wonder if it’s the male writer, and it’s usually them who project that “dick measuring” stuff to women. Or just an excuse to have a voyeuristic fanservice scene.

Hmm…Both.

Well, if they’re going to do that, at least do the same for the men with them groping each other’s schlongs and remarking how girthy or long they are but ofc they don’t. (¬_¬ )

(And don’t friggin’ tell me showing a guy half naked with abs has the same degree of fanservice to crotch/arse shots and the jiggling breasts of women. You don’t even see the male equivalent of the BWH measurements that they often give to women characters in anime. Gods, I hate it when some guy anime fans always bring that argument up ( ˘︹˘ ))

And yes, anime is not supposed to be realistic all the time and tropes are tropes because it builds stories and I agree with that but this kind of trope is well, annoying, gross and turns me off everytime I see it. It’s also uneccessary.

Miyazaki was right, hahaha.

another rant, haha. Whoops!

I got carried away.

I was also working on the comic commission last weekend. I had to ask for more clarification from my client in one part of her comic strip and had some difficulty with storyboarding some scenarios but I’m nearly one with the thumbnailing, thankfully. (‾◡◝)

That’s all I can say for today, welp. Need to grind some more. ^^

dfsdgfdgdfgfd

/ Ayana / Leave a comment

3/4 of the storyboard FINISHED!!! ( •̀ᄇ• ́)ﻭ✧

It’s all blobs, haha. But that’s how my BTS is. It’s uhh..something I can only decipher, lol.

I have to use a multi-ink ballpoint pen for this since it’s convenient for changing colours at a whim. Different colours like red and blue help to identify where the speech balloons are meant to be located, and the detail/description of every panel, respectively.

You can see that I just printed out some random storyboard template I found online since my Midori Storyboard notebook has ran out of pages and it’s a limited edition from..2017-18(?) so I can’t buy it anymore, ORZ.

I like this template though because it has that Midori storyboard format I was looking for, minus the url and logo of the website below, lol.

‘Gonna use this storyboard template for future comics. （＾ｖ＾）

Geez, doing all these made me miss making comic projects like this.. (ಥ _ʖಥ)

Sigh. I barely drew any doujins/comic projects for the past two years come to think of it. I used to be super passionate with making them and I dunno what exactly caused my exasperation with it.

What went wrong, I wonder.

Continue reading →

wips wips wips

/ Ayana / Leave a comment

PMS week and it feels like my stomach is a black hole. I eat a lot and never get full. ORZ

I’m currently starving and craving for deep-fried fast food.\

Specifically, some McDonald’s hash brown/fries and chicken McNuggets, gah. (and maybe a double cheeseburger too?)

But it’s late at night so…maybe I’ll get some tomorrow morning.

Art wise,

I’m currently working on a number of illustration/comics and here are 4 of them in this wip shot:

I HAVE to finish these soon. At least before my period starts, lol. (three friggin’ days of hellish uterine cramps)

I wanna talk more but I need to sleep earlier than the usual.

life updates, Blood+ rants and comic WIPs

/ Ayana / Leave a comment

last week was marked with PMS spots , mood swings and yet a high motivation to make storyboards for future comics and illustration.

Something is not adding up, lol.

Usually I spend my PMS week hating myself, everyone and everything on earth due to heavy mood swings but last week was different. Perhaps it’s me getting my mojo back after all these months of very irregular activity and deep depression. That would be a good sign that I’m recovering?

But ofc in the back of my mind, I’m still afraid of this suden enthusiasm because everytime I experience that, something very bad happens next and I know it’s super illogical to think like that, the whole “you know the world doesn’t revolve around you getting happy or not” and I know that but even so, last year was traumatising especially since it was exactly September of last year where I was getting into Blood + again….

and the rest was history.

ANYWAY, that stuff aside, I am currently into Blood + again. I’m in the midst of finishing a semi-short(?) fancomic of a postcanon AU that me and Rin created because we hate how canon treated our “blorbos” (The Schiff), haha. They are like the most disadvantaged characters in the series and yet have the most wholesome relationship towards each other. They’re just….so good. All they just wanted was to live and be happy. >v<

We were also fangirling over…a….uh… “crack” ship with Hagi, heh.

Continue reading →

WIP

/ Ayana / Leave a comment

I’ve been meaning to finish this comic today but I was busy with other stuff earlier. ORZ

Here’s a WIP shot of the upcoming short comic strip:

He looks constipated, doesn’t he?

I’ll be at the countryside this weekend for family obligations hence why I’m so frustrated about not finishing this today. :/

I’ll do my best to finish this short comic strip on Monday, though. I’m aiming for a rough or “unpolished” style because my goal is to be very loose with drawing and colouring, haha. Not that I want it to be ugly but I want to find comfort in making “rough” works. It might help me overcome my anxiety and perfectionism. (。・・)ノ

Wip

/ Ayana / Leave a comment

‘Currently grinding more art stuff. ^^ (although today was met with bad allergies that I kept sneezing and sniffing ORZ.)

I’ve been in the mood to draw lots and lots of food. I’ve been taking a break from listening to political commentaries/livestreams because they’re so stressful and depressing. I mean, I know everything is political and we can’t escape it (esp with the probability of a ww3) but I want to focus more on art, food and other things that make me relax and appreciate the good, mundane things in life even if they are just a few.

Sometimes, it’s good to switch off for mental health reasons especially now since I’m slowly recovering from the seven-month-long burnout and anxiety.

The problem with watching food videos is that they make me so hungry and crave for the food they’re making. I’m too broke to afford the ingredients and the recipes are intricate at times, lol. So ofc watching them is quite masochistic of me but at the same time, they soothe my anxiety and help me feel better.

Cooking/ Baking is like arts and science combined. Seeing how people are able to mix a variety of ingredients basing it from not just their taste and looks but also their chemical components (chemistry) to make the results impactful to all five senses is fascinating to watch. ^_^

They’re imho certainly much better than mainstream mukbangs which are my ED triggers, gah.

gasdfgfd

/ Ayana / Leave a comment

Hello.

I’ve been posting dreary thoughts here for the past weeks…Sorry. ORZ

But I’m doing okay now. I’ve confided in some people, did some self reflection and had some realisations…

One thing that I should REALLY have stop doing is to…stop thinking too much, lol. I worry about so many things that I end up not doing anything.

Ahh, Anxiety (GAD) fucks with your brain big time . I often wonder how many times I’ve self-sabotaged myself due to my anxiety disorder lol. (probably like a hundred times already)

Anyway, yeah, I’ll be going to therapy for that soon. I desperately need to curb it as it’s been getting so bad and in the way of my art and irl. I’ve also been busy sorting out stupid documents a few days ago and that has been contributing to my lack of energy and more anxious and depressive thoughts.

welp.

The hardest part is getting the ball rolling.

oc

Trying to familiarise myself with more of CSP’s tools.


And below is a wip of a bewd fusion. ^_^

I’m not skilled with drawing monsters or dragons so this proved quite difficult for me to make. ‘Quite challenging but it’s good to go out of my comfort zone.

That’s pretty much what I want to say for today. Sorry if it doesn’t make any sense (like the usual). My brain is packing it in since it’s so late at night here but I want to be able to update my blog like before.

I know I’ve been ….so irregular for the past months but I’m doing my best to draw more despite my mental health struggles this year. ^^

WIP again…

/ Ayana / Leave a comment

Hello.

I was very stressed from RL stuff yesterday so I spent my time playing Stardew today. SDV helps my soul relax with its OST, heh. :’D

I ended up getting super hungry because of the recipes there, lol. Is it me or are the food in videogames so appetising to look at? (and yes, even pixelated ones like SDV.)

Anyway,

here’s a chibi commission wip:

I’m quite happy about my activity last week. I didn’t post as frequently as my very old self but I was still able to draw and upload on a semi-regular basis. All I need to do is keep up with it, just keep drawing, and not letting anxiety and fear get the best of me and hopefully, I become as regular as before. ^^