doodle

I forgot to post this, ORZ.

It’s also one of the series of practice doodles I did on Procreate.

Seeing it after a few days, I can see how it looks off. Rin critiqued one of my artworks recently and she mentioned that I didn’t have a wide range of values and how it looked quite bland when in greyscale and she’s right, gah.

Values are very difficult and something I overlook a lot despite it being a fundamental in art so it’s something I have to practice with more.

Also, This is just some random Mirror! Jou stuff. I still don’t have any “official” designs for him atm but he’s very metrosexual in appearance compared to the canon one and leans more to gothic/punk style (Like Mirror! Ryou) hence why I make sure he has some eyeliner and makeup there, lol.

ANOTHER COMPARISON

I was listening to the Rev Left podcast, on one episode regarding mental health and I was struck with what the interviewee mentioned about turning your own struggles into compassion especially for others.

Sometimes I end up wallowing in my misery though, gah.

But I like that idea of helping other people who struggle on the same stuff I had / have been experiencing.

One thing I realize growing up is that there’s no such thing as finding happiness in life and by that, “permanent happiness” in life because these are just fleeting. It’s not good on a long term basis especially since they’re very dependent on external factors /cough/ material wealth/cough/

…And what people generally yearn for is finding meaning in their lives. Like, you go push through with life despite all the stress and adversity when you have a sense of purpose and direction, beyond the transient state of pleasure.

And helping people is one way for me to have that sense of purpose. Turning my own bad experiences as a tool to give way for more connection, empathy and solidarity. ^^

ANYWAY, emo stuff aside, I did another sketch comparison from last year, lol.

I often make art comparisons not as a flex, but it’s a good way for me to reflect on my mistakes, where did I go wrong, what I overlooked, etc.

and how my art style has changed.

GODS, it’s been a while since I drew Ryou, too. Heh. :3

HMMM…so with the 2022 one, the face was very small and the art style is more reminiscent of the 90s and YGO with the small sharp nose and the mouth being too close to it, haha.

He’s a total baby face there., honestly. :”D

2023…..

I made him look more mature and defined in the 2023 version, haha. OFC I still headcanon Ryou as a soft furby and he still is in my art, but I like where my art style is heading now compared to before?

I still struggle with proportions so I’m obviously gonna find this 2023 cringe next month or so, lol but I want to make characters look more mature in my works. As much as I adore the ygo, inuyasha, 90s /90s-ish art style, I want to add more 2000s and late 2000s influence with my works, haha. Especially artists with the likes of Yana Toboso, Range Murata, Masashi Kishimoto, etc. VNs like Fata Morgana has also inspired my art style lately.

(90s-2000s anime and manga series are the best for me haha Ngl. ESP 2000s haha. )

I used to be an utterly impulsive bitch when it came to talking about art styles come to think of it. I sounded like some rigid and stiff Victorian lady in one of my old posts, gahhh. I’m so sorry. ORZ

I tended to judge people and things so hastily back then and it’s still something I catch myself doing from time to time and currently trying to curb that shite but I can say this for sure, from my experience, as the years go by and more influences come in, art styles…change. As much as there is a distinct style for certain artists, it doesn’t remain stationary imho.

Even with YGO for example since that was mostly what I drew all these years, haha. Seeing how Takahashi’s style changed from when he was working on the manga in SJ vs his latest works especially in the later art book. It’s remarkable. It is proof that yeah he improved but also, his art style developed into something different. ( it’s also softer rather than the pointy ones in his original manga. )

Regardless, that is also something I need to take note of. I end up becoming too dogmatic and stubborn to the point it hinders my development.

Ah well,

it’s late I should sleep, gah.

Goodnight.

Mirror! AU – FUOH: Feelings –

Finally done with this!

……Although lower your expectations because it’s short, lol.

(also because I had to redo some faces because I suck hard at drawing these two.)

I am just slower compared to back then, ugh.

But it’s just about regaining that momentum. I hope I can be quicker with other comics. >.<

Obviously, OOC Kaiba and Jou because these are their mirror versions. ‘Just warning you. People might get thrown off with a kind, smiling Kaiba. (and a gothic punk Jou, I made sure to thicken his animu eyeliner here.)

I certainly was cringing when I drew him years ago but now, I only do it a little, lol.

READ MORE

Some iminor inconsistency I noticed after I overwritten them.

I forgot Jou’s pendant in some panels so ..Sorry. ORZ

Mirror Jou

My brain is mushy af today so this is going to be short since I can’t think well, ORZ.

Anyway, chibi doodle of Mirror! Jou’s situation as a parallel to the Mirror! Kaiba one I drew a few days ago.

I think this speaks for itself. I don’t need to explain what Mirror!Jou goes through, lol.

‘Not sure about Shizuka’s design here but I thought of giving her a standard delinquent design in this drawing. She’s a troublemaker, very tomboy-ish and can be very hostile to people she doesn’t know and or dislikes which is the opposite of Canon! Shizuka, haha.

compare

‘Got too frustrated with drawing yesterday. Y’know that feeling when you are certain what it’s supposed to be like but you can’t seem to do it right no matter what you do?

That was like it for me. ORZ

I seriously wanted to pull all my hairs out from the absolute frustration that I was having.

Gods, why do I even draw when being an artist means signing up for a lifetime of disappointment and discouragement? >__>

Ah well.

Anyway., here’s a sketch comparison from a year ago with the way I drew Mariku.

It’s a bit messy haha. But I actually drew the feb 2023 one on the same page. It was an A4 Midori sketchbook so I thought of using the extra space for the updated version.

I can still see some mistakes on the 2023 one, sighhhh but I’ll just improve as I go along.

Well, gtg. I still have to grind for other stuff for today, ugh,

mirror seto and mokuba 1

Today was pretty uneventful.

For some reason, I’ve been very tired in the mornings but more productive at night. But at the same time, very sleepy at night too?

It’s a huge contradiction, gah.

I’m trying to be a daytime person though. As peaceful as the night is, it’s not exactly good for my skin to be a night owl, haha. It messes up my hormones, sadly. :/

Anyway, I was talking to Rin about Mirror Seto. I thought of adding more character and flaws to him especially since he’s…very pro worker in the Mirror!Verse which is the total opposite of canon kaiba (probably. Canon kaiba seems like a ruthless businessman/ceo haha)

Here’s some doodle of his dynamic with Mirror Mokuba who is a very aggressive….

….kid.

Small but terrible.

Pardon. ‘been a while since I drew these two, lol.

I kind of want to make Mirror Seto quite spineless towards his very domineering younger brother which could be a good flaw. (I don’t want him to be a totally perfect person, haha.)

I don’t mean he’s a coward but as said above, I prefer for him to have struggles like wanting validation from his younger brother, his only family, and facing the high pressure and expectations to “suceed” as the CEO of KaibaCorp. He doesn’t want to be CEO deep down but he knows if it’s Mokuba who is in charge, the workers there would be fucked, lol.

With Mirror! Mokuba, We characterised him as a young prodigy so he’ s very mature for his age yet has a cold, capitalist mentality (a union buster lol) and wants to strictly adhere to the traditional family business model which is the total opposite of Mirror Seto who is a very empathetic person, does his best to give his employees great working conditions and aims to gradually steer the corporation to a cooperative one in this ‘verse much to the dismay of Mokuba.

TLDR; Being totally opposites personality-wise and the way they want to run the business is why they don’t get along as well as in the canon verse, haha.

Not to mention, Mokuba really hates Mirror! Jou here so he’s a constant foil to the mirror ship.

Damn.

And to think we made Mirror Seto for the purpose of being merely joke material. Now I want him to have his own character arc, haha.

warming up and some ygo talk

I managed to tidy 80% of my workspace today, heh.

I also got to finish the thumbnails of the comic commission so the next step would be sketching and then lineart and the colouring. Hopefully, I can finish it in a month and a half since it’s gonna be nonstop grinding at this point. (plus colouring would put more effort and then more time, gahh.)

I’m also trying to balance my time with storyboarding chapter 7 of the AUU on top of that. Playing Fata Morgana last week made me remember how much I still love deathshipping, gendeerbent or not, it’s still the same beautiful dynamic, haha.

Here’s a preview of the 2023 updated script:

Can’t believe it’s been two years since I last updated the AUU, though. I’m not really sure if people would still read it if I ever finish Chapter 7 but eh, I need to show I can finish stuff. And we both worked hard for that. It would be a shame if we just left it hanging there. Six chapters is sooo little.

Although throughout the years, I learned that sometimes, things don’t really go to plan and there are periods where I get too burnt out to draw so I need to take a hiatus from the doujin project from time to time. ORZ

Me and Rin have a lot of AUs for deathship tbh, haha. There’s a Monster World AU (non chibi) I want to do too but I’ll have to find time for that as well.

Ahh..And then there’s the pocket citron which is the longest, and something I also want to finish this year.

Here’s are some very rough pen doodles of my ygo babies:

I hope I improved drawing these babies, haha. I mean, it’s ballpen drawings but ..I needed to see if I still got it, haha…haaaa.

ahhh…maybe not.

It’s really been a while since I drew them. T__T

Need to practice drawing their hair again, haha. And clothing.

Come to think of it, we also have this side story of the AUU which is Angstshipping. It’s around the question on what if Mariku and YB didn’t come back? So Malik and Ryou are the main couple here. Me and Rin just ended up falling in love with their dynamic and chemistry that we ended up shipping them while making the AUU chapters, haha.

And then, there’s the Mirror! pup comic scenarios I also want to draw because we accidentally shipped the Alternate versions of Jou and Seto, haha. To think they started off as best buddies in that AU for the lulz.

Honestly, it’s a fucking lot. All the ygo stuff I posted before are just the tip of the iceberg, haha. I do miss drawing them. But it’s also good to alternate fandoms. I don’t really want to just draw ygo, haha. I still have me other blorbos from other beloved series I want to draw.

Ahhh, why do comics have to be so time consuming?

I also sometimes have those self sabotage episodes where I become too paralysed with perfectionism and overwhelmed with self doubt that it delays me from finishing many passion project works. But it’s a bad habit that should stop this year because I’m sick and tired of doubting myself.

What do I even accomplish when I follow that stupid, negative voice in my head that insists that everyone hates what I draw?

Nothing.

Anyway, I should head to bed. Need to sleep. I have to wake up early. ORZ

Will post these tomorrow on tumblr and twitter. Gods, I forgot to post there for the past two days. I need to be regular with posting this month, gah.

Concept Sketches [ part 2 ]

Still on a decaf day. ORZ

‘Never thought there’d be a day where Atem is the MC of a comic I’ll draw, haha. (forgive me, TKB and Mariku)

Granted, it’s a commission and the story is written by my client but it’s going to be a good challenge and a breath of fresh air. Atem/Yugi’s hair is fun to colour, heh .

I mentioned before that I’ll post better images for the rough concept sketches of a comic commission and here they are. ^^

(These are on A4 sheets)

So many Atems, lol. I may have drawn the right one in a bad angle ORZ

The one on the left is version 1 of Atem that I did a week ago and the one on the right is the second and more updated version of him which I sketched today.

I’m quite rusty with drawing ygo characters tbh as it’s been quite a while since I last drew them on a regular basis, lol. My love for an obscure anime may have took over since late last year, sorry.

Anyway, Atem/Yugi’s hair has always been difficult to draw hence, why I had to draw more sketches of him here. I need to get used to his hairstyle especially since I’ll be making a comic about him. I’ll have to draw him multiple times and with different expressions. :’D

Here’s another character who resembles you know who and that’s all I can say ‘cuz I am afraid of putting too much spoilers out there.

Although that one is the initial draft and that’s not his final look.

I still can’t believe someone commissioned me for a comic, heh. I feel better about my comic skills to think someone would pay me to make one, :’)

Tomorrow, I’ll be able to drink coffee (FINALLY) and will grind the hell out. I’ll be doing the storyboards for this comic by then too. (๑•̀ㅂ•́)و

Will post these on tumblr and twitter tomorrow. Too tired now, gah. I hate caffeine withdrawal.

commission wip

There’s a lot of comic strips I’m in the midst of finishing, lol.

It sucks cuz that means I can’t upload as frequently as I want to but at the same time, I’m in my “comics-making mode” which is my most productive “comic creating” mental state so…..I guess that’s a good thing?

Downside is less single illustrations, unfortunately.

Hmmm..

.>__>

I want to alternate with drawing illustration and comics by assigning days for them respectively, but my main problem is my hyperfocus.

I envy artists who can still draw and post random illustrations while in the midst of creating comics because that is something I have tremendous difficulty with.

Once I start a doujin/comic, I end up being so focused on finishing it that I cannot do anything else outside of it UNLESS it’s all done, lol. I just shut everything outside of it, basically.

It has its perks with finishing goals whatnot but it’s quite bad especially if I’m making a long comic. That would mean.. weeks or months of seeming inactive because I was too fixated on finishing a 65 page doujin, haha,.

So…I’m going to find ways to deal with having that kind of attention span. One way is what I said previously with assigning days on short illustrations and comics.

Gotta do that time management thing, lol.

Anyway, dumb ramble aside, here’s some concept sketches for a comic commission. ^__^

the lighting and angle is crap, haha. Though to be fair to myself, this photo was just to show a friend in some chat about what I was doing and I didn’t want to post it online. My NY goal is to post even the messiest of WIPs and here it is.